And Yet She Persisted: An Autoethnographic Exploration of a Mature Doctoral Student Experiencing Grief and Loss During the Doctoral Journey

Author

Jenny Masterman Abbott, University of the PacificFollow

Date of Award

2025

Document Type

Dissertation

Degree Name

Doctor of Education (Ed.D.)

Department

Leadership and Innovation

First Advisor

Laura Aguada-Hallberg, Ed.D.

First Committee Member

Fred Estes, Ed.D.

Second Committee Member

Sharon Parkman, Ph.D.

Abstract

This evocative autoethnographic study explored the lived experiences of a mature doctoral student navigating grief and loss while progressing through a doctoral program. The research connected the personal narrative of the author a nurse, educator, wife, mother, and widow to broader themes of resilience, identity, and persistence in higher education. Using narrative inquiry and self-reflective vignettes, this dissertation sought to illuminate how grief intersects with academic life, shaping both personal meaning and scholarly perseverance.

The study was guided by four research questions: (1) What does it mean for the mature doctoral student to be successful in negotiating the doctoral journey while experiencing grief? (2) What challenges emerged during this process, and what factors contributed to overcoming them? (3) What can other doctoral students learn from this experience to support their own persistence? and (4) What can doctoral faculty learn from this narrative to better assist grieving students in the successful completion of their doctoral program?

Grounded in grief theory (Neimeyer, 2000) and resiliency theory (Richardson, 2002), the study used autoethnography to explore the meaning-making process of loss and the role of resilience in academic persistence. Data were derived from personal journals, coursework reflections, and field notes collected over several years, culminating in a series of vignettes that illustrate themes of humor, community, grief, and perseverance.

Findings revealed that grief, while profoundly disruptive, can also serve as a catalyst for growth, self-understanding, and renewed purpose. Supportive peer relationships, faculty compassion, and the use of humor emerged as protective factors that enhanced resilience. The study underscores that for mature doctoral students, persistence is often an act of healing—an embodiment of resilience cultivated through adversity.

Implications for higher education include the need for trauma and grief-informed approaches to doctoral mentoring, the creation of communities of practice to reduce isolation, and the recognition of grief as a significant but navigable aspect of doctoral persistence. This research contributes to the limited literature on mature adult learners in higher education and highlights the transformative potential of storytelling as both scholarship and self-preservation.

Pages

100

Recommended Citation

Masterman Abbott, Jenny. (2025). And Yet She Persisted: An Autoethnographic Exploration of a Mature Doctoral Student Experiencing Grief and Loss During the Doctoral Journey. University of the Pacific, Dissertation. https://scholarlycommons.pacific.edu/uop_etds/4319