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Victoria May 30th 1864 Dear Brother When I wrote you in January I did not think that I should allow so long a time to lapse before writing you again. But the prospect of my selling out here, and going home, which I fully advised you of at that time, has resulted in nothing but disapointment [disappointment], and has kept me in such a state of uncertainty and doubt that I had been expecting from week to week would be put an end to that I have delayed writing you much longer than I ought, or will again. The last letter I received from you was under the date of Dec 28th which I got in March I feel sure that you have written since then, and am very much disapointed [disappointed] at not finding any letters for me in the post office. I have been for the past six months fully employed at the lime works, having found it advisable to employ an Agent in Victoria, and to suspend the works myself. I do not know that the prospects for our business look as well as they did last season, but yet I have hopes that it will turn out better. We feel the loss of our Schooner very much, she was so much damaged, that we found that it would cost more than she would be worth, to put her in a condition to carry lime with safty [safety] so we sold her as she was for $400.00, making a loss of about $1100.00. We have also lost $746.00 by a contractor who ran away, so that for the past year we have but little more than held our ow[n].
I am in hopes that we shall have better success this season, we have reduced our expenses in every possible way, and have made some improvements, so that I think we shall be able to turn out as much lime as we did last season, at one third less expense. We have tried to do too much business for the Capital we have, and have found that the profits were eat up by the disadvantages under which we labored in so doing, and are now determined to keep it down as close and snug as possible, and supply the demand. My intentions however are the same as they were when I wrote you last “That I had fully made up my mind to go home as soon as I could dispose of what I had here without too great a sacrifice” I then thought that I had good reason to hope to be with you this month, but God has willed otherwise, and perhaps it is not his will that I should go home, although whilst earnestly desiring that He might make the path of duty plain to me, it has become impressed upon my mind that I am not doing my duty in stopping here, for it seems to me that although I cannot accuse myself of idleness of negligence, or, of a want of reasonable caution, in business, yet all my plans seem to be thwarted, and my hopes and desires frustrated in ways that I could not foresee, or that common prudence would have enabled one to avoid. I shall therefore apply myself closely to the business, and carry it on with as little expense as possible this summer keeping a lookout at the same time for a purchaser, and if I can get within two , or even three thousand dollars of what my property here has cost me, I shall sell, and go
home with the intention of remaining. . I have come to this determination, My dear brother, after much serious meditation, and earnest prayer, the struggle with pride has been long and painful, but I trust our Heavenly Father has, in answer to my prayer, enabled me to subdue it, and to say in sincerity of heart, even so Father, for so it seemeth good in Thy sight. Now I do not wish you to allow yourself for a moment to think, that this contest in my mind was owing to the absence of a desire, to return home, for such is not the fact, during the long years that I have been away from you no exile ever yearned with greater longing for the society of the loved ones at home than I have I have considered myself exiled by my own will for the purpose of accomplishing an end which I have had earnestly in view, and have felt, that until that result was attained and the decree of banishment thus removed, it was my duty to submit to all and any privations that its attainment might impose upon me, without complaint, but after continued disapointements [disappointments], I have sometimes thought that perhaps I was pursuing a course not approved of by God, and that it might be my duty to renounce it, and, to return home but my pride has prevented me from entertaining that thought and, instead of seeking earnestly that divine guidence [guidance] which I ought, I have said in the obstinacy of my heart, it is my will to do this, and I will do it, thus I have gone on disregarding all other blessings of God, which I might have been enjoying. Making as it were, a condition with Him, that He should grant me that which I had set my heart upon having, and then I would appreciate and thankfully enjoy
other favors, but my ambition has been humbled, and my pride and selfishness rebuked. I have been taught by adverse providences to moderate my desires for this world, and I trust, to earnestly seek after the great realities of the eternal world, and the favor of God, to choose him for my portion, and to yield up my spirit for thine and eternity, in humble obedience to his will. I hope that the next mail will bring me news from home, for it is a long time since I have heard from you. We are having very delightful weather, and although about four degrees farther north than you are, we are enjoying much of the early vegetables, green pease [peas], and strawberries. It is certainly a very fine climate, and were you all out here with me, I would not wish to leave it. I trust the Lord is still prospering you in all things, spiritual and temporal, granting to you all, and full measure of his heavenly grace, as well as health and happiness give my kind love to Sarah, and the children, and a kiss of love to all. I hope to hear that Miss McKenzies health has improved, please give her my kind regards and sincere desire for her compleet [complete] restoration. Remember me again kindly to inquiring friends, and with much love to all, and an earnest prayer that heavens richest blessings may be bestowed upon you, and your hearts have continual cause to be glad in the Lord. I remain Your Affectionate Brother A. Hibbard
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MSS2.H621 HIBBARD, AUGUSTIN GOLD RUSH LETTERS
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Hibbard, Augustin, "Letter from Augustin Hibbard to [William Hibbard] 1864 May 30" (1864). Gold Rush Life. 33.