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Letter from Augustin Hibbard to William Hibbard 1855 Nov. 3

Creator

Augustin Hibbard

Recipient

William Hibbard

Transcription

Mr. R. Hubbard

Montreal

Canada East

Augustine

San Francisco

3 Nov [November] 1855

San Francisco Nov 3, 1855

My Dear Brother,

It is now nearly nine months since I have written to you, or any of the family. Doubtless you think this strange and unjustifiable, and I will not attempt to say that it is not. But this much I must say, that my long silence has not proceeded from any want of brotherly love, or, affection on my past, (for God knows how dear you all are to me, and how earnestly I have desired, and still desire to be with you once more) but from circumstances which have had a depressing influence upon me until I feel that my finer feeling and impulses are in a greate [great] measure displayed.

The past six years have been spent by me in a continued struggle in this land of gold for a moderate sum that would enable me to fulfill my obligations to others and live respectfully amongst you who are so dear to me. In this struggle I have been sustained only [&] solely by the hopes have had of succeeding for I have been totally deprived, of everything else, which according to my views render life desirable. And now my dear brother when I tell you that at the present moment, I am no nearer the attainment of my desires than I was when I first set foot in this land, you will not be surprised that

I have become somewhat indifferent to life and the [claims] of those for whom in my heart entertain the sincerest affection. Many times have I taken my pen to write to you, and the thoughts which have come crowding upon my mind, have rendered me [unequal] to the effort. You have often asked me when I intended returning to Canada, and I have never given you an answer, for it always has been and is still my intention never to go back unless I succeeded in accomplishing the object for which I came here. Whether that will ever be, He, who is the disposer of things only knows, I strive hard to feel that I am in his hands, and that He orders all things for the best, but so strong are my desire for what (so far) seems to be contrary to his will, that my rebellious heart finds it a bitter thing to say “Thy will O lord, not mine, be done” but I trust that in answer to prayer, he will enable me so to feel, as to find acceptance in his sight.

Since I last wrote to you I have been obliged to sell my farm, and, all that I had. I had hired money to improve the farm for which I was paying 3 [per]cent [per] month, this I could have got along with very well had I been protected in my improvements. Which I supposed I would be from laws which had been enacted by the state, but last fall miners commenced digging upon a part of the farm, paying no respects to my improvements. I forbid them, but they laughed at me. So I was[obliged to commence proceeedings [proceedings] at law against them. I got a decision in my favor for

$500.00 damages and injunction to restrain them farther proceedings. The amount for damages I could not get as the parties were perfectly irresponsible having [nothing].

These proceedings so embarrassed me, That I found myself obliged to sell, and after selling everything, found myself still in debt. I have tried several things within the last six months, and now have a situation of Bookkeeper in a commfson [commission] house in this city at a salary of $100… per month. I left Coloma in August but did not come to San Francisco until lately. I immediately wrote to Coloma to have any letters that there might be there forwarded to me, in a few days I received two from you, one enclosing Elizabeths, one from Ashley.

What my feelings were when I saw the Black seal, you, my dear brother, can hardly realize. Those letters from home, which are so eagerly looked for, [&] so eagerly opened [&] read, when they come with the ensignia (insignia) of death fill the soul with unutterable anguish. This I felt before opening your letter. but when I opened them and found that two dear, dear, sisters whom I had fondly hoped to meet again in this world had been taken away forever from my sight. I bowed my head with a grief and sorrow that I never felt before. and get, I can scarcely realize that I shall never see them again. But brother I hope to meet them, where I hope to meet you all should I never return home. In a better world. I shall write to Lizie [&] Ashley next mail. Give my love to all, especially Father [&] Mother

your affectionate brother

Agustin

Location

San Francisco, CA

Date Original

11-3-1855

Images

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Source

MSS2.H621 HIBBARD, AUGUSTIN GOLD RUSH LETTERS

Owning Institution

University of the Pacific Library Holt-Atherton Special Collections.

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Recommended Citation

Hibbard, Augustin, "Letter from Augustin Hibbard to William Hibbard 1855 Nov. 3" (1855). Gold Rush Life. 15.
https://scholarlycommons.pacific.edu/grcc/15