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San Juan Island April 18th 1865 Dear Brother William Your two letters under dates of Jany [January] 2nd & Feby [February] 6th inclosing one from Lizzie, came to hand yesterday, and according to your request I proceed to answer them immediately, although I do not know when I shall be able to mail my letter as I shall not be going to Victoria for sometime + may not have an opportunity of sending it there until I do go. You say that you have not received any letter from me since the one I wrote in May last, this is realy [really] to [too] bad, for I have written you three letters I think, since that one. I know that I should write oftner [oftener], but my mind has been so depressed by troubles and disapointments [disappointments], that I had not the heart to inflict them upon you, although certain of your brotherly sympathy and kind wishes, but I will try to write oftner [oftener], for I feel that my duty to you requires that I should do so. Your letters my dear brother have given me a great deal of uneasiness, heretofore when disposed to repine of my repeated failures, and disapointments [disappointments] I have felt consoled at the thought that you were prospered, and thanked God that it was so, but alass [alas], that consolation seems to have been taken away, for grevious [grievous] troubles have fallen upon you. I had hoped and prayed to be spared that affliction
for I felt that although ill success might attend all of my efforts, ands [and] plans, yet as long as you continued to be prospered, I had great cause for thankfulness, but God has seen fit to order otherwise, and although in the first brunt of the affliction, we may not be able to see, or believe, in the love and wisdom that are always hidden within it, yet time will assuredly shew [show] us, that they were not wanting. Oh how hard it is to subdue our rebellious hearts to the will of God, when it clashes with our earthly views and interests but we must do so, fully, and unreservedly, or we are none of His, this we can only do through faith in Him who rules us, for the power is not with our sinful selves, may that faith in all its fulness [fullness] be ours, and all will be well. Since I last wrote you I have been blessed with good health, but have been doing comparatively nothing as we have had a very wet and stormy winter. I am living entirely by myself as I have no hands employed at present. I find it rather lonely at times as it is about 20 miles to Victoria, and my nearest neighbour [neighbor] here is four miles distant, so you see that I am rather isolated from even the small world that we have out here. I do not mind it at all in the business season, for then I am continualy [continually] occupied, and am often in Victoria, but until that commences I have very little to do except preparatory work. I often wish that you and Benjamin were with me for we could drive a famous business together I think
I have often fancied myself sitting with yourself & family in the comfortable new house you described to me, and I can well realize how severely you must have felt the bitter necessity which compelled you to dispose of it, but I hope and realy [really] trust my dear brother that your affairs will turn out better than you seem to anticipate. I feel that I need not say that I deeply sympathize with you in your trials for that you will feel assured, and I can truly do so, for my trials and disapointments [disappointments], have been many & severe, but I feel that in my business transactions I have been guilty of a great want of caution, in my haste to make money I have taken risks which I had no right to take situated as I was, this is a sure thing upon my conscience. but you can have nothing of that kind to reproach yourself with, for I well know your cautious and prudent mode of doing business, and I cannot but think that your affairs will turn out brighter than you think they will, let us hope that they will prayerfully putting our full trust in Him who deals with us mercyfully [mercifully], although His ways seem dark and incomprehensible to our feeble sin clouded minds. I shall not write to Lizzie this mail, so she must take a part of this I would not advise her to come out of California unless she should get a sure & permanent engagement. Give my kind love to Mother, who I was glad to hear was in good health. I trust that Sarah’s health has improved and with much love to her & the rest of the dear ones I remain Your affectionate brother Augustin
San Juan Island
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MSS2.H621 HIBBARD, AUGUSTIN GOLD RUSH LETTERS
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Hibbard, Augustin, "Letter from Augustin Hibbard to William [Hibbard] 1865 Apr. 18" (1865). Gold Rush Life. 36.